A surprise at work

Victoria here,

Hello to all!  Well after being back at work for a short period part time they have asked me if I can go full time if we get another grant!  I am not jumping into it but am so grateful that they like my work so much they want me full time.  I am grateful for a number of reasons.

1. That they consider my work to be quality

2. That I am able to work again

3. That I feel like I am making a difference in peoples’ lives again

4. That I am not psychotic or depressed

5. That I can handle this job thanks to excellent management

6. For all of you who continue to support me on my personal recovery from Schizoaffective Disorder

If that isn’t a good list I don’t know what is.

Back to my work, I like the idea of going full time but it will be a challenge and I have to consider what it may cost me.  I will need more help around the house and I must not let the bills go like before.  I am motivated to do this because currently I am working 3 days a week right now and the other 3 days I am at a loss what to do.  I get bored with hobbies I have been into in the past and can only blog so much if you know what I mean.  I hurt my back a month ago but prayed to St. Philomena and was healed.  Now I have to get back to exercise, I have no excuse really and have put on a little weight in my sedentary month.  Man if I look at a cheeseburger I seem to gain weight.  I must accept I cannot eat like a normal person does.  I must do my 2 shakes a day with a light lunch filled with fruits and vegetables and one snack which I enjoy.  I am a foodie but lately haven’t been obsessed with eating like in the past.

For my spiritual fulfillment I have really been enjoying Eckhart Tolle.  He has written several books the one that got me hooked was Stillness Speaks.  I highly recommend it as it quiets the mind and helps me to be more in the present rather than chasing every thought that comes in my mind.

Here are a few quotes from this German/Canadian spiritual teacher~

Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don’t realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being.

ECKHART TOLLE, The Power of Now

When you become aware of silence, immediately there is that state of inner still alertness. You are present. You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective human conditioning.

ECKHART TOLLE, Stillness Speaks

Read more at http://www.notable-quotes.com/t/tolle_eckhart.html#X7GoWQYIlV8reqb8.99

He also has an online tv which you can get a free trial.  He is quite amusing and often laughs to himself which really cracks me up.

I also read a really good blog today on Tumblr from someone who is active in Nami and is doing really well sharing with others.  Does anyone know how to get more involved with Nami?

Thank you to all for reading my blog, making comments and all the emails from around the world.  I know this little blog has gotten over 5,000 views which may not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of the internet but it is a lot to me and I appreciate it so much.  I have heard from doctors and practitioners like me, people struggling and doing well, college students writng papers, and loved ones of those afflicted.  I appreciate every single email and comment.  There is not one comment I have not allowed which really says that this is a stand up audience and a great forum to share and comment safely.  Through this positive experience I have been so blessed and it has provided a place for me to share what is on my mind and has helped me in my recovery as a sort of outlet.  Many have shared that it has helped them too so it is definitely a symbiotic relationship:)

Bless you all,



P.S. If anyone is interested why I sign my name with Pax please ask me as I do have a story to tell about it, which I may write about in the future anyway but will sooner if anyone is interested.


Back at work and doing well!

Well, it has been another difficult journey the past 3 months.  I have been on disability and had to quit my job due to it being high stress.  But amazingly my old work contacted me two weeks after I quit and offered me a part-time job that is less stressful.  I took it and started this week!  My psychiatrist will be happy as he only wanted me working part-time anyway.  The positive symptoms are at bay and I am doing really well.  I still work in the mental health field but the cases I see now are much less intense than my other position.  I actually have an office of my own and work with the population I have come to love, the Hispanic community.  Recovery is not only a process but it is a commitment to well being.  I have been eating healthier than ever and have lost some weight and even though my back has been hurt, I plan to incorporate light exercise into my routine again next week.  Self care is huge for me.  Lots of down time, and help from everyone in the house including my husband.  He really doesn’t understand my disorder but has been mostly loving and kind through the difficult time when I wasn’t working and on disability.  We have a good marriage but don’t really talk much about my disorder.  I am glad I am no longer passively suicidal but am really enjoying life again.  Planning a trip abroad soon, so that will be awesome to go with my daughter and see parts of the world where some of you live.  It will be my first trip to Europe and I have wanted to go since I was a little kid, so my dreams are coming true.  We almost had to cancel the trip due to my not working but things have worked out that I can go and not worry too much about the money.  It is nice when things work out!

Have a great weekend and please write to me if you like my blog!  It is so much fun to answer questions and talk to other afflicted with this disorder, especially from different parts of the world! If anyone is from Italy please write before June which is when we will be there.