Monthly Archives: February 2021

Welcome to new followers and exciting news…

Oh my gosh! This will be short, I have a lot going on because I am detoxing off nicotine and I’m disorganized and I feel like crap. But I see that I got some new followers so want to give them a warm welcome!

FEBRUARY is already bringing so much good and awesomeness into my life! New life in many ways, and now that I am debt free with comfortable savings can pursue getting my physical and mental health under control with a holistic doctor at last. I kid you not, this was not an easy task to get to where I am but hey it’s here now.

My main secret is never giving up! I emit my desires to the Universe and wait sometimes patiently (that was a joke) and then I kick ass with research and picking people’s brains till I get the answer for me. I don’t always like the answer but with time adjust and continue to try to self-improve. It’s getting easier as I learn to trust in God more to take care of my needs and everyone’s.

Some exciting news! I am having a brain QEEG done on Thursday which will track my brain waves and maybe give me some answers for better physical and mental health. Personally, I think my dad having his stroke and almost dying several times that it caused me so much grief I just went off the deep end for a bit with my physical and mental health.

Anyway, suffering for a couple of days while nicotine gets out of my system.

Guess that wasn’t very short (another joke)…

I have decided to get into podcasts but will still be blogging because I love it so much! You all are great…

peace love light and joy

victoria

Promising days to come…

The world is full of promise and so am I…

“May today you only know as great” jason Mraz

Today is a great day because I have made an important personal decision that will bring much joy peace and light. This marks an end to an era of ritual that I have going on that involves this blog.

I might be taking a break from blogging as I get in a new routine or I might be back on here tomorrow but either way wishing all of you peace love light and joy!

pax

victoria

I’ve got it all…

Ok, this is crazy now, money has been falling my way for the last few years but it’s crazy because right now I am getting money from the most random places and some of it is a major monthly savings. I drive a 2003 suv so finally will be able to get a newer car. I love my car though…

But money isn’t everything! I am sober and soon to be done with vaping…

My health is questionable but seeing a holistic doctor soon but the paperwork is crazy long. I’m over half way done and should finish it this weekend…

My craziness still shows up though in different ways. I am not recovered. I get the urge sometimes to just get wasted but I don’t, anymore. No it is a sober life I seek and if you seek something it shall manifest.

Just like the money. I’m not rich but having an easy time saving instead of blowing it all. I can be very impulsive and sometimes I just do things like make a big purchase and then be like I didn’t even think about that. I just bought a good supply of my goterpy cbd oil to help with the anxiety and delusions. I still have some cbd oil but am increasing my dosage by half and already notice a difference although last night was hard.

Are you having money problems? Emit to the Universe your desire to get debt free and have extra money on hand and sit back, soak it in after a bit and then get busy figuring ways out how you can get more money. I recommend Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University which is a course I completed many years ago. But I still get their emails and do the every dollar budget when I have money to budget. This led me to a financial advisor who has saved me money and also helped us with better investments. I am not money driven but it is nice to know I am not watching every penny in my account.

So much going on I can’t share…soon!

peace, love light and joy

victoria

Returning to new normal…

Getting shit done

Relaxing and meditating in between

studying my big book of AA and next writing

letting people know I don’t drink anymore again…

It’s been a productive morning and I’ve been busy. Called my local Catholic Church to volunteer with a coat/blanket drive that Deacon Doug Halverson Rip Dec 2020 started many years ago. Didn’t get the response I wanted. I have such a huge heart for the homeless. Need to find a way to start my own drive of some sort. We shall see.

Action is important and so is giving back to this world which I have not always been able to do but I feel like I have a lot to offer just haven’t found my niche yet.

Now must write about my health history for a new holistic doctor who supports my medication management for Schizoaffective Disorder. It’s funny but he won’t even see someone unless they are willing to give up nicotine. Which I am and which may be causing the digestive issues???

Anyway boring boring boring. I have lived with this condition for almost 5 years…. and now I get to write about it fun. Sorry for whining but it really sucks to be stuck in the bathroom much of the morning.

I have a serious issue which I cannot write about yet. And my good news too! Some things are sensitive and must hold my space here and be good:)

peace, love light and joy

victoria

Worldwide blogging, that’s what I’m talking about…

I feel like I travel around the world 🌎 when I check my stats and see so many different countries… it’s wonderful really and I feel connected to each person reading or sharing this blog.

I am back at aa and have a tuff sponsor. Stopping drinking isn’t the problem but staying stopped is. I am also seeing a new doctor who is not a psychiatrist but has experience with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. We shall see!

Rough start and late afternoon difficult conversation with someone dear to me. Please say a prayer for this person 🙏

Thanks and peace love light and joy 🥲

Victoria

Deeply affected by this quote…any thoughts?

“Every day is a good day”

Yunmen introduced his
 subject by saying,
“I do not ask you about
the fifteenth of the month.
Come; give me a phrase
about after the fifteenth.”

And he himself responded:

“Every day is a good day”

                     ~

“Every day is a good day”
  is a simple statement,
  but very few know
  its real meaning.

The “good day” does
not refer to a nice day
as compared to
a bad day.

It means the absolute,
not the relative, day.

Today is the absolute day,
the only day in the
eternity of time.

Today is never repeated.

Every day is fresh
and new, just as
one’s life, is new
each day.

Every day is a good day,
but the good is not of
one’s own making.

It is good in the original,
or absolute, sense—

rain or shine, war or
peace, sickness or health.

The past is only reference;
the future is only hope.
Today is real.’

Now this moment ~

Yúnmén Wényǎn
(862 AD-949 AD)

Caveat…

This is the rough draft to my new book coming out April 1, 2021, the caveat. Hope you all have a fantastic day!

Some days are hard, some days are easier and some days are just plain awesome! But every day is a good day if we are alive and alive we are so congratulations. This caveat is to simply state that we all struggle in different ways. My struggles may not be yours and vice versa. One must not compare for it is in this that danger and discontentment lurk dangerously. I don’t have to work a 9 to 5 job so basically have 14 hours a day to get a lot done. I have researched and through trial and error have better ways to cope with my mental health disorder. So take this book for what it is~ merely ideas tried and true. Some will resonate with you and some may be like she is really different. I hope you at least glean a little bit of hope through these pages that hope does exist in each and every one of us. Prayer, hugs, positive thoughts and vibes to all of you. We are on this journey together so let’s be friends.

pax

Victoria

A quiet poem tonight…

Gentle music

candles glowing

dishwasher running

kitchen tidy

with gratitude I complete another sober day, and it is back to AA that I have gone, it is the only program or way of life that helps me. I am a high functioning drinker. And with meds it just isn’t a good idea…I am here if anyone else struggles with this too?? Nothing bad has happened, except inside as I have turned to alcohol once again for a little while. But we must part, and good bye I say today and hopefully tomorrow too.

I have decided to start taking more of my cbd oil by goterpy. Because of other factors I have become a bit delusional again sorry to report. I cut back on my dosage to save money but it is worth it if these grandiose ideas go away. elusive dreams… that end in nothing but wasted time.

I am not in a good space but trying to look up. Not suicidal at all. Just wanting my life a certain way and it is not. I am all or nothing, no in between for me. Weirdly enough I do not hate that I have this disorder even when things go awry like trying to drink socially again. I didn’t have a drinking problem prior to getting schizophrnia/schizoaffective disorder.

My thoughts are on AA tonight. The magical solution. Let the brain washing begin. This brain needs washing. Amen. Thank you AA. I found a group I like that is called the spirit of the universe he he. Nothing but the best for me!

Working on books on Wednesday. Took a little needed break but back tomorrow if I can or Wed for sure if not. Writing helps me to focus, so I can’t wait to dig in! Still looking for help if anyone is interested.

I can be reached at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com for questions, comments, help to quit drinking or to help with the 7 Ebooks on coping during the pandemic with mental health. Have started on first 3 and aim to finish them by the end of March which will mark one year of lock down during this pandemic.

I did get some fabulous news on Valentines Day! But can’t share yet because I have to keep this secret in my personal life except with my dearest friend…

peace, love light and joy

Victoria

Good is coming in many ways…

The planets are aligned;we are ready for good to come. For me it is financial and inner as I continue to face my demons.

But if you are reAding this emit to the universe all your desires and don’t leave any out! We can claim good! It will be manifested if we desire it! A pen and paper can help!

A good solid day of running errands. With my pup, my faithful travel companion. Picking up essentials and a few snicker bars for Valentine’s Day.

Life is good and I look forward to each new day…

Peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria