Pain is deep…

Parsley, Rosemary and thyme~Simon and Garfunkel

I haven’t blogged all week because the pain is so deep of what I have gone through.

I had to cancel my assessment for the second time so taking that as a sign from the universe to stop trying with her.

An incident from 20 years ago came back to haunt me on my trip down south. It was traumatic and unfortunately involving one of my children. I have to protect a new family the predator is now involved with but don’t know how. Been trying to figure it out on my own but my sister (God bless her) had heard about it and called me so I did have someone to talk to about it yesterday.

Why are mental health problems so fucking hard? My brain has a disorder and right now I am fighting to breathe air… Big things like this really set me off down a spiral staircase to only God knows where.

I am experimenting with my gingko intake. Wondering if it is causing me to hyperfocus on the bad and negativity of every situation?

I am home alone with my thoughts and music and comforts. Hubbie had to go back down south to pick up my car after it got fixed, which broke down on our travels. Usually this would be great but the impending situation at my hands is before my mind and all I can think about.

Might garden a bit as the weather is perfect.

I am postponing all other activities until I am able to warn this unsuspecting woman with grandchildren.

Pleasee helppp me God to find her and share what is so painful to even mention to myself. Lots of tears this week.

Hope all of you are doing well. I’m still fighting and not giving up but it is fuckinng harder than ever to figure it out.

peace, love light and joy


This entry was posted in Hope.

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