This is who I am today…

A human being

in recovery from many addictions

A daughter

A wife

A mother

A gramma:)

A friend

A helper

What do I believe in? God for sure, but beyond that don’t really know…

Who do I want to be? Someone who makes God proud…

Am I close? I will never know until I die but will keep trying

It no longer plagues me but still in a dark space at times

today I was melancholy and that is honestly my least favorite place to be

I want to live my life as if today is my last day not just be blah…

I’d rather be caught up in drama or sad to say psychotic or so depressed that I curl up in a ball and have no energy.

I do not have a lot of drama currently but the past few months has caused me much angst over ____

I even thought for a brief moment like getting high but I know I cannot go back that route because when I get high I want to do it all day and that is not good at any level for anyone.

So I had a bit of chocolate and took a bath and called a few people.

Sober another day!

Yes, I have Schizoaffective disorder but my meds are working wonderfully right now.

Didn’t mention I decided to go strict keto diet a few days ago and gave up sugar. I will adapt and the bit of chocolate got me through a rough patch.

Heading to Maui next week, so a bit of pre-vacation eagerness. I love my home but Maui has the best vibe to me in the world. On aloha time there is no hurry, pure beauty, warm ocean and time with my sister and husband. They drink a loooot. but it doesn’t bother me. I’m way more fun sober and they all agree!

I have been reading a lot lately and awaiting a response from a family member if she will take on my offer to write the biography of her recently passed husband. His life was amazing and I offered to write about it. So all my life is on hold currently and I have never been known as a patient person. Waiting for things has always been hard for me as is keeping secrets. I do have one I may write about though. but time will tell.

v

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s