Psychotic Episode Avoided! Story from my heart tonight…and a little on Covid~

Last night I blogged, what if I am psychotic? Well the answer is/was it was the beginning of a full blown psychotic episode that was avoided. Man my life is such a trip, even to me! Seriously I don’t make this crap up. I’m used to it but this week has proved to be exceptional in the events and thankfully in a psychotic episode avoided. I thank God for medicine tonight and every day I am alive on this earth!

Allow me to back up a bit to the first part of the week-

My daughter, husband and I (and 13 others from the Celebration of Life Saturday) all came down with Covid. We all had symptoms and this blog is not about Covid but rather how a stable home can turn into a hospital very quickly.

My adult daughter gets bedridden with a common cold, so Monday morning when she woke me up with the news that she had Covid, I flew out of bed because I knew it might mean hospitalization for her. She couldn’t breathe and I looked frantically for her breathing machine, every mom with an asthmatic child’s worst nightmare. Somehow we have avoided it for 2 1/2 years, with vaccines, boosters, masks and good common sense and of course the protection from above.

My life changed in an instant and it was not fun. I also had stopped my Latuda after tapering down slowly and taking the last bit of a pill on Sunday. I have been doing awesome, with no delusions or any psychotic symptoms. My psychiatrist approved but was not happy with me taking kratom. But he indulged me and I have always been the best judge of my mental state. So it was all good, or so I thought.

I had to care for my daughter’s needs all week with it peaking on Tuesday, the day she finally got on the anti-viral med for Covid. I was ready to call an ambulance for her as I was very sick too but at her beck and call for every need or want she had. At one point she wanted a cookie, so I made sugar cookies from scratch.

The whole day Tuesday I felt really bad but ignored my own needs to make sure my daughter had everything she needed. Around midday, I started getting confused over simple things like which was the hot and cold on my kitchen faucet that is not marked as such. I even posted a blog that night which was a tremendous amount of effort but I did it, keywords and all!

After blogging I retired to my meditation room at midnight and got on my phone to research brain fog or mental confusion with covid. I took an assessment and it screamed at me to go to the ER. Fortunately, my youngest son (23) had not gotten covid and never did btw, and was able to take me quickly to the ER! This whole time my head felt like it was going to burst and I was scared.

I arrived to a very full ER. I gave them my symptoms and watched them scurry around. I thought I might be paranoid but they were preparing the room for me for the check in. I stood while waiting because I didn’t want to infect the other people waiting with Covid. Finally, they called my name and the next 10 minutes were probably the most intense of my life.

The nurse seemed nervous trying to be calm and asked me all the formal questions we are all used to hearing about Covid but I won’t bore you. At last she got to the part about what brought me in. I explained my mental confusion as best I could and about the pressure in my head. She calmly says to me, “We aren’t going to make you wait 4 hours in the waiting room.” At this point she had me convinced it was not a stroke. They whisk me back in a wheelchair and then I hear over the loudspeaker of the ER-

“NEURO TEAM TO ROOM 34 STAT” It was called out twice and I realized it was for me or so I thought.

Upon arriving to room 34 I was met by a team of doctors and neurologists who started guiding me with authority to the awaiting hospital bed. I hopped up on the bed with my sandals still on and thus began my 5 hour stay with a long series of demands for performance which I conceded to as best I could.

The neurologist followed the acronym STOP for stroke assessment perfectly. I had googled it a few weeks ago just because. SMILE, I smile but I’m not smiling inside. He continues to ask me simple math questions and functions. I pass those easily but when he asks me if I can feel his fingers on both sides of my face, I can’t tell and mutter that I’m not sure. He kinda yells at me the question again so I try harder, yes I say it is the same. After a few more tests, he backs away and announces to the rest of the team that it is not a stroke. I’m relieved but confused at the same time, what is it then?

He orders a CT scan of my brain (I will be posting an image of it as soon as I get a copy!) and a bunch of lab work and puts me on an IV. Like I said it was intense and glad to know that I was treated so well. I did share my diagnosis because of the meds I still take and the nurse was awesome and didn’t treat me any different because of it. I thanked her upon leaving the ER with a diagnosis of dehydration and a high thyroid level. All mental confusion went away with the IV! I was so busy taking care of my daughter that I wasn’t drink enough water I realized…

I arrived home at 5am, went to sleep at 6am and woke up at 11am, just in time for my duties of caring for my husband and daughter again. I still haven’t told my daughter what happened at the ER, but she knows I went and I have been chugging water ever since and feel fine except for-

The buzzing in my head has been coming and going the past few days. I have been doing self-assessments of my mental health the past week to watch for signs and I passed every day except for yesterday. I sent an email with urgency and I have been obsessing over my blog’s analytics. No delusions came, I checked. But I definitely believe that Covid or the stress of caring for my daughter was bringing on a full psychotic break with the buzzing and pressure on my brain which I have not had since going on anti-psychotics in 2008.

I went back on my anti-psychotics last night and the buzzing went away as did all urgent correspondence.

So that’s my week in a nutshell.

The good news is that my daughter and husband tested negative today for Covid and are both feeling much better as am I. But I am still testing positive so there’s that.

I will never know if it was Covid or stress bringing on the psychosis as I am never going off my psych meds again. I do know kratom has given me a new zest for life so will be doing both for now especially since kratom has gotten rid of my delusions. I am free!

More on how much better it is for people with psychosis to be on anti-psychotics tomorrow though. Time for bed!

pax

Victoria

2 thoughts on “Psychotic Episode Avoided! Story from my heart tonight…and a little on Covid~

  1. Wow, Victoria, what an ordeal. I’m so glad that in the midst of taking care of your family, you were able to track your well-being and get some care as well. I hope your bout with Covid is nearly at the end too! Sending my best.

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