Pondering much tonight…

As I finally began my writing work I find it hard now to tell my stories. I am writing two; one of a very dark time in my life and another about the symbolism of the lotus flower. I need both to balance the writing I am doing.

It is good to be working again with no deadlines to pressure me. I have also been thinking about returning to theater 🎭. That was a very fun time in my life. I watched west side story last night and have been dancing around the house today to the soundtrack for la la land.

I know my life is changing before my very eyes. What is most stable though is my marriage which I am so grateful for! We watched the best part of Liar Liar and laughter arose as we watched the irreverence of Jim Carey 😂

Then we both parted our ways him heading out late to his weekly Friday bbq with his Volks buddies and me to spend a quiet night to do with as I wish. He does bring me ribs and steak throughout the night as he did now.

In fact more along the marriage thread, the other night as we lay in bed and had been talking quite a bit about many topics of which I had been asking him my deepest questions feeling safe in his strength in answering of them. He was falling asleep and I asked him if I could ask him one last question 🙋‍♀️. He said yes and I asked him “what is the meaning of life “ he got mad for a second then realized I was messing with him.

Ah marriage to the right man can be so satisfying. Then I went to sleep in the meditation room because he snores and tosses and turns all night! We’ve been sleeping separately for years and are quite content. But we spend almost every night lying down together close to his bedtime. I stay up much later because that is when I come alive.

Off to work on my writing some more hoping it will flow this time…

Question of the day to be or not to be answered but I ask it anyway because I’m curious. How do you all find a balance in life? amongst work, play, rest and for most of us recovery from anything really.

Best

V

Wednesday musings…

I find this day to be strange so far in many ways. It is my grandma’s birthday, so am celebrating although she passed many years ago.

But that is not why today is strange. No I set out my list last night for the day’s activities and although I didn’t follow it perfectly I am pretty damn pleased.

So far have eaten healthy, done yoga and abdomen exercises with stretching, taken care of my doggie’s hurt paw, braided my adult daughter’s hair and now blogging. I have been once again seeking balance in all I do and too much of anything even if it is good can be bad for you.

I have heard the term spiritual bypassing lately and I don’ t like it at all. I ditched a book that discussed this at length. I will always rely on God for my inspiration, my help my assistance. I will never consider this a weakness to rely on God too much so please don’t give up on God even if things are not going well for you. And if they are going well, well stop and thank God. It is that simple. done preaching ha ha

On to next topic. I am dedicated to getting in fit shape. I am talking my inactivity up til now must be conquered. I am an extremist so went out and bought some crazy colored workout pants to get me in the mood all day. I plank, try to do the splits and get up from sitting without assistance even on the ground. I am trying to get my steps in too. Taking a break now to do a Leslie Sansone walking video.

Be right back

Short but energizing workout.

My dad is stabilized again happy to write. God has plans for everyone but my dad defeats death regularly so it’s hard but happy today.

What else?

I am writing 7 E-books! Wow, came to me in a dream and i read that if we remember our dreams it is a message. So I dreamed I wrote 7 books so am going for it on Amazon. The first one can you guess is on exercise! The last one is on spiritual something or other and the ones in between will be revealed.

I am not there yet folks. I might be doing well in my recovery from schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder but I’m happy with being discontent. Because in discontent there is room for improvement and I am ever after self improvement at any cost with rare exception.

I write as I struggle to develop my practices. Writing helps me find my words that lie deep within ready to emerge at the right time. It solidifies much of what i am after. Still haven’t found a mentor but not going to let that stop me.

I have been listening to Zen studies podcast with a wonderful priestess. Very enlightening. Today instead of watching my show during breakfast I listened to her and it was better to be inspired rather than mindlessly entertained. We shall see if it becomes a habit.

wishing you all the very best

peace love light and joy

pax

Victoria