Rainbows 🌈 abounding today…

After a difficult day yesterday here in Maui today was a breath of fresh air and rainbows 🌈. I was proactive with my choice of music 🎶 and what I spent my energy on.

It worked!

I relaxed in the morning with my husband and then we went snorkeling 🤿! It was the best day yet on vacation.

I was out in the ocean 🌊 and there was a turtle 🐢 swimming nearby but as hard as I tried and prayed I couldn’t find it. I finally decided that if I was supposed to find it I would and stopped obsessing over it. I stumbled upon a underwater reef with a plethora of fish, some exotic and some schools of fish 🐠 . It was glorious!

I learned a valuable lesson in this to continue to trust the process. I didn’t get to swim with the turtle 🐢 but found something else spectacular.

I also walked 4 miles today! I’m feeling great and hope to go snorkeling 🤿 again tomorrow and the next day and then home.

I was homesick yesterday, tired and cranky. Today I don’t want it to end. Finally ok without my kids here and enjoyed the sunset tonight along with rainbows 🌈 and Hawaiian music.

It’s funny because when I feel disconnected from God and myself I revert to old patterns that do not serve me well. Music is a huge part of my day and night.

It has been hard to be around my sister and husband with their constant need for alcohol but at least today got to enjoy a beach view while they drank. Has anyone else ever gotten a contact buzz just being around people who are drinking? It happens to me all the time! I have fun mostly.

Some days will be hard but then a new day comes and I get grateful again. Grateful for God, my marriage my sobriety and everything God wants me to experience. I’m learning you can’t have fun all the time but I’ll take it as often as I can.

Peace

V

Pondering much tonight…

As I finally began my writing work I find it hard now to tell my stories. I am writing two; one of a very dark time in my life and another about the symbolism of the lotus flower. I need both to balance the writing I am doing.

It is good to be working again with no deadlines to pressure me. I have also been thinking about returning to theater 🎭. That was a very fun time in my life. I watched west side story last night and have been dancing around the house today to the soundtrack for la la land.

I know my life is changing before my very eyes. What is most stable though is my marriage which I am so grateful for! We watched the best part of Liar Liar and laughter arose as we watched the irreverence of Jim Carey 😂

Then we both parted our ways him heading out late to his weekly Friday bbq with his Volks buddies and me to spend a quiet night to do with as I wish. He does bring me ribs and steak throughout the night as he did now.

In fact more along the marriage thread, the other night as we lay in bed and had been talking quite a bit about many topics of which I had been asking him my deepest questions feeling safe in his strength in answering of them. He was falling asleep and I asked him if I could ask him one last question 🙋‍♀️. He said yes and I asked him “what is the meaning of life “ he got mad for a second then realized I was messing with him.

Ah marriage to the right man can be so satisfying. Then I went to sleep in the meditation room because he snores and tosses and turns all night! We’ve been sleeping separately for years and are quite content. But we spend almost every night lying down together close to his bedtime. I stay up much later because that is when I come alive.

Off to work on my writing some more hoping it will flow this time…

Question of the day to be or not to be answered but I ask it anyway because I’m curious. How do you all find a balance in life? amongst work, play, rest and for most of us recovery from anything really.

Best

V