Which came first? Guest blogger gracefuladdict shares her story…

My name is Danielle and I am an addict in recovery. I will have 12 years clean on 5/23/2022, by the grace of god.

My kind friend Victoria asked me to write a piece on addiction and mental health issues for her blog. I can only share from my own personal experience and then hope that it brings about a greater understanding for others.

My truth is that I did not know I suffered from any mental health issues until AFTER I put all of the drugs and booze down. Even though I became a bit suicidal while I was in active addiction…I still did not really know what I was suffering from.

For me the knowledge came when I was in the rehab that saved my life. My mom, my sister n law and myself all met with the counselors at the facility to discuss my treatment plans.

At that meeting they discussed my diagnosis : Post Traumatic Stress, Anxiety, and severe Depression.

The events that led up to me landing in the rehab were some major life altering and traumatic ones.

The sudden death of my sons grandmother, the divorce of my husband and I and the death of our new kitten “Kissy” all happened within a 6 month time span.

I just thought I liked to drink and use drugs. The rehab staff were kindly pointing out that I had basically been through a war and it was time to learn how to live without all of the suffering.

So which came first? Well I know that I always liked to use substances to cover up any bad feelings and tried to enhance the good ones. I think they call that Substance Abuse Disorder these days. I have had that since my first sip of champagne at a wedding when I was 8 years old.

I think for me the other things came about as life does and I only had one coping mechanism and that was to use drugs and drink.

Today, I have been so blessed to learn how to not use anything except my higher power and others in recovery when I feel those uncomfortable emotions.

That’s the thing isn’t it. Learning to be ok with self, no matter what. Unconditionally loving myself even if I am feeling unkind or in a mood.

The disease of addiction is physical, mental and spiritual. Learning to take care of all three is a process and can be quite difficult.

However, it is the best thing that I have ever done for myself and my child.

Published by gracefuladdict

Thank you Danielle! For more daily inspiration visit her blog at: https://thedailyaddictcom.wordpress.com/