“Endurance itself is the greatest achievement”

by Viktor Frankl from his companion book to Man’s search for meaning, Yes to Life. A fascinating read for anyone who is contemplating suicide or their purpose in life.

Suffering at any level is painful unless one sees obstacles as opportunities.

I see my life more clearly today. My moods change like the moon but at the same time I am learning and have learned so much it is hard to put into words.

Endurance of the mind, to figure s*() out. I am good at doing this but yet this blog itself is a challenge for me to make accessible to all of you. There are over 500 blog posts, some ramblings, some informative and some deep looking into who I really am, which I am still figuring out.

I have figured out so many challenges with my disorder. I haven’t even shared half my story. But endurance is at the very heart of my existence navigating mad thoughts and ideas to make my life better.

I am proudly not on any social media. The other day at the store a cashier was sharing a bunch of random facts with me about rain water properties and I was enthralled by it all. When I mentioned I prefer to blog and read blogs than watch tv, she was like do people really still do that? She was young but I was in shock because it is much of my world.

I hope that others are intrigued, inspired and challenged as I continue to blog, enduring the pain, which is minimized now. And always looking for more meaning in our existence.


What is the meaning of life? part one

I ponder this question much and with my limited brain power have come to the conclusion that much of what our perception of the meaning of life is subjective to our own reality.

Our own reality may be skewed or colluded but if we have the desire, we can know our life purpose. Having a mental health disorder does not prevent this from happening. My reality is such that I can create my own life experiences by emitting to the universe my soul’s desires manifesting better outcomes leading to the finding of my purpose in this life.

Does that make sense?

My strong belief is that we each do have a purpose in this life but many of us are not aware enough to begin to travel on the right road. For me this process has been with an ebb and flow that keeps furthering me along the right path I believe with minor detours but like a labyrinth always leading me to the center of the enigma. This enigma is life. A puzzle waiting to be solved, and the key is to not forget the solution.

For me this means many things, mainly that I am taking care of myself first, second taking care of my situation and third giving back once I find that right beat that only I and only you can walk to. The beat of the drum that makes sense to you and you alone. That is what I am talking about.

It is like a chess game. yes I am currently obsessed with chess but have not seen the Queen’s Gambit. There are many obstacles in chess and life, but we can work on solutions. Some days may seem like defeat, but in defeat we are constantly learning. And with this new information we can change our life path…

Of course Jesus is at the center of ALL I DO! But He is not here with me making these decisions or is He? That gentle nudge to do something healthy, that reminder, the Holy Spirit is active and waits for us to consult him.

We just have to ask and emit our desires to the Universe and the Source of all that is Good and sit back and wait…

It is that easy for me but hard at the same time.

peace love light and joy