In my new found freedom from addiction to much, I have asked this question again and again and have not gotten any satisfactory answer until tonight.
For in seeking to understand the meaning of life, we miss out on it really.
My yoga book* tonight posed this very question as I sat down for a quiet meal to meditate and enjoy the serenity I have created in my home tonight- candle burning, fantastical music, much thought about nothing in particular but at ease, mostly.
This is what I read, “to expand, to create, to live abundantly and beyond, to explore and most of all to inspire.” I am doing this already in unspoken intention albeit not perfectly yet and am grateful for all that I am, all that I have, my thanksgiving is perpetual~ Thoreau
No words to add to this blog tonight.
*YOGA: Self Love Through Yoga (BREATHE) (Yoga For Beginners, Yoga Poses, Benefits of Yoga, Yoga Illustrated) by Lei Camille, kindle edition, Amazon
I am currently at 100 mg of clozapine, and despite the tiredness I feel pretty good hopeful and keeping up with everything for the most part…
I have applied for a job which I might get…
But in the meantime I keep myself busy with light tasks and fun hobbies.
I make bath diy products, soap, hand sanitizer, lotion, bath bombs and use my quite nice collection of essential oils, which I have been collecting the last few months.
Lavender is my favorite for night or when I am chilling, jasmine and yiang yiang during the day hours. I not only have an room diffuser but I also wear a necklace made of lava rocks which diffuse the oils too that I am enjoying.
I also garden when it is nicer and enjoy my flowers throughout the areas I have been working on. I also just bought a windchime for the front. Not windy right now though.
I busy myself also with making DIY Christmas decorations. This year will be a sad year because my daughter isn’t coming home but will be here in January. It is because of this that I am doing Christmas very different this year. I sent a few important cards but not to everyone I usually send to. Why is it that only at Christmas we remember certain people?
I have been celebrating Christmas for weeks now giving away the bath products I made and little well meaning gifts. I enjoy giving. IT’s fun to bless someone that isn’t expecting it.
I have much serenity these days as I adjust to my new medication. Prayer is at the forefront of every day, and I see answered prayer among my day quite frequently. I have candles burning for different requests. One for my dad and mom, one for my daughter and a dear friend for their future spouses, one for Mike my husbands friend who tried to kill himself but didn’t succeed but is left in a poor state, one for all my family and loved ones. To God do I burn these candles and trust my prayers are being heard by heaven!
I do not have much anxiety right now which is good. I have so much love and joy and am experiencing these wonderful emotions while I wait for what I do not know what the future will bring.
I have a certain sadness because of my dad. Hoping he makes it another Christmas…
Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it and to those of you who don’t Happy Thursday (I am stealing this from another blog I read today because I think it is cool!)
As of right now I have stopped searching for work, some financial help has arrived, so I am going to be dedicating 2 hours a day to finish my latest book. The title appropro is “Finding fulfillment not working”. I have already written several chapters so I am going to reread them and then go for it! I will let you all know my progress as it comes. I am excited to finish this book for many reasons.
Today I woke up in a really good mood and realized that I am the author of my life. God has my back but it is up to me to make the necessary changes to those parts of my life which are either out of balance or that I am unhappy with. No one is going to do this for me, no, I will repeat that- no one is going to do it for me. I have to make the change I wish to see in the world as Gandhi wrote so eloquently when he was alive!