Trying out new WordPress features…

I’ve been busy today and excited for my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter (7 months now and loves me and my daughter the most) to come over tonight for a spaghetti dinner. All my kids will be here and my husband who just asked “what are you doing on the computer? Blogging?” Yep I answer ha ha. Marriage can be fun and predictable at times and other times totally throw us for a ringer like the first part of this year…

Life is good and might actually venture out tomorrow to Safe Haven Open House in celebration of Mental Health Awareness Month, the place where I met my first of many, hopefully, non-binary friend. Hope to see them tomorrow if I go! Haven’t been struggling at all with my Schizophrenia so when they call we just catch up and talk about life in general or some hot topic one of us is interested in. They are peer counselors and very good at their job to say the least! I like to think I help them a bit as they have helped me so much from getting through self healing from DID disorder last year, to psychosis last December and recent toxic family member’s difficulties. They taught me to have compassion for all especially myself and were a huge part of my healing journey. Just having someone to talk to to voice my concerns with a non spiritual perspective made all the difference in my mental health and unusual existence…

Anyway, we shall see if I go. I’m good with the same people but sometimes meeting new people is very taxing for me as I haven’t tested my empathic abilities yet since I have been doing so well. I’m actually talking myself into going. Social anxiety, negative and positive energies will be present, but I will do what I have been doing all day and say in each encounter (to myself haha) I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me and Thank you to the Divine. It has really been a great day doing this instead of my usual prayers. It is like a cleansing of myself and works even if one doesn’t mean it.

Well off to cook noodles.



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Ever since the pandemic hit I have barely gone out for fear of my daughter who is immune compromised. I have used all the service platforms and curbside whenever possible. I still do curbside but have now started going to the store.

At first when I tried I had severe anxiety attacks and a really bad day. Then I learned to go to the store at off times and it is actually feeling good to be out and everyone almost is wearing a mask and social distancing.

Today I did a lot of errands in the morning, got a burrito which I ate quickly and then fell asleep. I missed my therapy appointment because my phone was charging and I didn’t plan to nap so long. But it’s been super hot here too in Santa Maria, Ca and feeling lethargic during the hottest times of the days. Our weather is usually 70’s so we are melting at 89 degrees.

So I finally woke up and actually was relieved I didn’t have to talk about my anticipatory grief with my dear dad. I think I will go to once a month from here on out. It brings me down more than lifts me up but it is helpful to process occasionally what I am going through. I know he will die but he just keeps going which I love but it’s hard and takes a toll.

He is my lifeline right now in many ways…that’s all I will say about that.

I did try a new therapist who was Gestalt. I don’t recommend this type of therapy for people with schizophrenia. I heavily disliked it and canceled my following appointment.

I’m pretty good most days. Still getting fit and losing this dastard weight I gained on Risperdal. Down 35 pounds since Sept 2019.

Hope and pray you are all well.

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